Jane Eyre

I. Charlotte Brontë

Reader I finished it, she said, somewhat belatedly, since the fact took place quite a while ago.¹ In fact, I already wrote a piece about it. It was a rather dull piece though, so I'll save you the effort of reading it.²

Once upon a time there was a girl called Charlotte Brontë. She was the third of six children, only four of which reached adulthood. Her parents were the Reverend Patrick Brontë³ and Maria Brontë. Her mother died when she was five. The children were educated at home by their aunt, Maria's sister, until Charlotte and her sisters Emily, Maria and Elizabeth were sent of to the Clergy Daughters' School at Cowan Bridge. The conditions at the school were so bad that Charlotte's older sisters Maria and Elizabeth died of tuberculosis⁴, leaving Charlotte as the oldest of the Brontë children. After the death of their sisters Emily and Charlotte were removed from the school. Charlotte then attended Roe Head school, where she subsequently spent three years as a teacher. She became a governess, but soon found out that she hated the work,⁵ then left for Brussels to improve her French at Pensionnat Heger, falling hopelessly in love with her teacher in the process.⁶ And then, finally, she did the thing that makes her worth mentioning here, namely writing Jane Eyre.

Well, I'm glad we've got that out of the way. I'll tell you in a minute about the book, but I really need to get some coffee now, so if you'll excuse me I shall wish you goodbye.⁷

II. Plot⁸

So here comes the boring bit. 16 October 1847  Charlotte Brontë published a book about an orphan girl called Cinderella... sorry, I meant Jane of course.⁹

Once upon a time an orphan girl called Jane was sent to a boarding school by her nasty aunt. The leader of the boarding school was comically hypocrite, the food was scarcely eadible and as cherry on the cake of crap Jane's best friend died from a typhus epidemic. Things got better after that though, and Jane becomes a teacher. She grows restless after a while and decides to leave.

She finds a job as governess at a remote estate, where she tutors a precocious French girl. Not all is well though. When the mysterious landlord arrives things go bananas. Jane falls in love with the man, learns some things about his not-quite-spotless past and desparately tries to hide her feelings. Then someone decides to burn Mr. Rochester in his bed.

Afterwards Rochester, the fanciful landlord, convinces Jane that everything is fine. Sort of. By which I mean he gives an inadequate explanation, leading Jane to believe the culprit was a servant, but no measures are taken.

Then Rochester goes off to a party, returns from the party, and continues partying at Thornfield. Jane also meets, and is not particularly charmed by Blanch Ingram, who rumors have it is the future Mrs. Rochester. Our landlord however uses the occasion to find out how Jane feels about him, which he does by dressing up as a fortune teller, scaring the company and angering Jane. - Men and their feelings... *sigh* - Rochester seems displeadsed when he learns a guest arrived at the house when he was away. That night the guest, Robert Mason is attacked. Jane is called to help, though Rochester forbids her to speak with Mason while he is getting a doctor. Jane notices bitemarks on Mason's arm.

The next day Jane hears her cousin is death and her aunt has asked for her to come. Jane departs immediately, leaving behind a disgruntled Rochester. However, she fails to reconcile with her aunt, who dies shortly afterwards. Jane stays for a while at Gatesheat, but eventually decides to leave. Upon her return Jane excitement is mutual, but nothing is said about a marriage.

What follows is an extremely long, detailed and rather boring scene in which Rochester finally proposes to Jane. We learn Blanche Ingram backed off after Rochester had pretended to possess less money than everyone thought, Jane accepts and they live happily ever after. - Ow.. ehm.. well, that didn't happen right? -

Two nights before the wedding Jane has a terrible nightmare, she thinks, but when she wakes up she finds out her wedding veil is cut in half. Rochester insist it's nothing, though he wants her to sleep with Adèle that night. (That's the little French girl.)

On the day of the wedding Rochester seems restless. There is no family present, nor are there any friends. The ceremony is interupted by Robert Mason and a lawyer, explaining Rochester is already married to Mason's sister Bertha, so everybody heads back to Thornfield to see Rochesters wife, who promptly attacks Rochester.

Jane, in shock, and not persuaded by Rochester's arguments (and begging), decides to flee. She leaves the next morning, barely taking anything with her, wanders for a while, and eventually strands hungry on the doorstep of the three people who'll turn out to be her cousins.They feed her and help her get a job as teacher, before returning to their work as governesses and clergyperson respectively.

It is some months later that her cousin, St. John Rivers, discovers who she is and informs her that she has inherited a considerable amount of money. This is also the moment she finds out that they are cousins, which makes her very happy. She decides to share the inheritance. That Christmas Jane joins her cousins in their old house, which they are able to keep thanks to Jane's new fortune. Everybody seems content, except St. John, who wants Jane to join him and become a missionary wife. She refuses, St. John insists, Jane refuses again... etc.. Jane is almost at the point of compliance when she suddenly develops telekinesis and hears Rochester calling her, so - because this is a Romantic novel, and the Romantics thought everybody should listen to the voices in their head... or something like that - Jane immediately runs off to find Rochester. Instead she finds Thornfield in a less-than-fabulous state, the cause of which is Bertha Mason starting a fire. Our heroine learns Rochester was blinded and lost a hand in an attempt to save his servants and Bertha. - On which Bertha responded 'F*** this guy' and threw herself from the roof.

Thus Jane reunites with Rochester. In the following and final chapter, Jane opens with a cake-joke, which would later influence Portal...¹⁰ What I meant so say is that future Jane informs the reader of her marriage, the unfortunate dead of St. John Rivers and the miraculous recovery of Rochester's sight etc. and everybody not already dead lives happily ever after.

III. Characters

Jane Eyre

Our heroïne and narrator. She describes herself several times as plain and short and not very attractive. - It gets a little annoying after a while. - She has no problems showing her feelings or saying what she thinks. She has a very strong sense about what is right and what not.

Edward Fairfax Rochester

Byronic.¹¹

The Rest

• Mrs. Sarah Reed, Jane's nasty aunt.
• John, Eliza and Georgiana Reed, Jane's nasty cousins                                       
• Bessie Lee, the maid of the Reeds and in contrast to them a fairly nice person.
• Mr Brocklehurst, the nasty director of Lowood.
• Miss Maria Temple, Jane's favorite teacher at Lowood.
• Helen Burns, Jane's good-natured eloquent friend at Lowood. She dies from typhus.
• Mrs. Fairfax, the nice housekeeper of Thornfield.
• Adèle Varens, Jane's excitable French pupil. Rochester had an affair with her mother.
• Bertha Antoinetta Mason, Rochester's insane wife.
• Richard Mason, Bertha's elder brother. He disturbs Jane and Rochester's wedding.
• Grace Poole, Bertha's caretaker.
• St. John Eyre Rivers, a clergyman that suppresses all feelings. He wants to be a missionary, and wants Jane to come with him as his wife.
• Diana and Mary Rivers, Jane's nice, intelligent and kind-hearted long-lost cousins.     

IV. Themes

Growing up

In the beginning of the story Jane is a passionate child who regularly loses her temper. On the end of the book she has found a way to be more calm and accepting.

Societal norms

All the stuff Brönte is gently mocking throughout the book, like Brockelhurst's hypocrisy, Blanche Ingram's snobbery and John Reed's aversion for emotions in general.

V. Opinion

Liked it, didn't love it. Too long, but remarkably clear language for the time.¹² I think it's best for all of us that I leave it  with that.

Notes

1.  Perhaps it is just a cheap trick to grab said reader's attention.
2. You're welcome.
3. A remarkable man indeed. His father was a poor farmer, while he himself was head of the village school at age sixteen before going on to study at Cambridge and becoming a clergyman.

- https://www.bronte.org.uk/haworth-and-the-brontes/family-and-friends/rev-bronte

- http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05y11v8#play (start at 1:26)

1. Public health requirements were non-existent at the time, and central heating wasn't really a thing yet.
2. - According to no lesser source than Wikipedia:

“In particular, from May to July 1839 she was employed by the Sidgwick family at their summer residence, Stone Gappe, in Lothersdale, where one of her charges was John Benson Sidgwick (1835–1927), an unruly child who on one occasion threw a Bible at Charlotte, an incident that may have been the inspiration for a part of the opening chapter of Jane Eyre in which John Reed throws a book at the young Jane.”

- https://www.bronte.org.uk/haworth-and-the-brontes/family-and-friends/charlotte-bronte

1. Which inspired her to write The Professor, though she couldn't get it published at the time.
2. Yes, I do know that's another book. Could you just shut up for a moment and let me have my coffee?
3. AccordAccording to Magna Carta I'm obliged to give you a spoiler warning, so here it is.

The foThe following text contains massive spoilers and may include references to tangentially related topics and/or media. The creator is not responsible for any confusion, bewilderment or sudden deaths that may or may not occur in relation to this text. You may be entitled to warranties, conditions and terms that may or may not be excluded or limited by the creator under law. Except for those non-executable warranties, conditions and terms the creator's material is made available “as is”, except for those non-executable warranties, conditions and terms, the creator and its suppliers make no warranties, conditions, representations, guarantees or terms (express or implied, whether by statute, common law, custom, usage or otherwise) as to any matter including performance, results, security, non infringement, merchantability, integration, quiet enjoyment, satisfactory quality, and fitness for any particular purpose.

1. The creator deeply regrets this tragic misunderstanding and will do everything within the realm of possibility to prevent such a flagrant error from ever happening again.
2. There are no rules against video game references, are there?
3. Oxford Dictionary:    - Alluringly dark, mysterious and moody -
4.  Romantics are not known for their brevity or particularly readable sentences.